So I'm looking for an outlet. maybe this is it!! or maybe this will be my last post. Like most things in my life I get extremely excited about new adventures, art projects, meeting new people, learning new skills etc. As far as sustaining my excitement, well that's another story. I can easily rattle off at least 20 projects that I have started and been excited about over the last 2 years, and of those 20 projects, I am not sure if there is one that I can say I have completely followed through on.
Quitting my job, selling my house, and taking all of my money to invest into some sort of artistic endeavor. sounds awesome, but unfortunately not possible. I'm not sure if the impossibility of this is me being scared of success or failure, or if I quite litterly cant afford to quit my job. I have no idea...I just hope im not asking that same question for the next 32 years of my life.
I believe I have a lot of "internal" self esteem. The small percentage of self esteem that I do not have is the persentage that I need to promote myself. I know it! I admit it! is my work worthy enough to be out there in the universe for people to see and purchase?? Absolutly!!! Do I have the balls to promote that work??? yeah umm no, unfortunatly I dont. Im not sure where to go to find those balls. I am 110% positive that if I had that one little skill (aka Balls)...(not litterly, you know what I mean), I would be Successful!! I know it for a fact!!!! and so does every single person in my life who EVERY DAY says to me. What the hell are you doing?? why are you not in business? I will buy that from you!! can you do work for me? OMG I have a friend who is looking for someone like you!!
Its not about the money ( although that would be helpfull )..its about doing somthing I love. In the evening when I sit down to relax I want to feel that I have accomplished somthing productive for the day.
Dear Rachel:
Shit or get off the pot!!
