So I'm looking for an outlet. maybe this is it!! or maybe this will be my last post. Like most things in my life I get extremely excited about new adventures, art projects, meeting new people, learning new skills etc. As far as sustaining my excitement, well that's another story. I can easily rattle off at least 20 projects that I have started and been excited about over the last 2 years, and of those 20 projects, I am not sure if there is one that I can say I have completely followed through on.
Quitting my job, selling my house, and taking all of my money to invest into some sort of artistic endeavor. sounds awesome, but unfortunately not possible. I'm not sure if the impossibility of this is me being scared of success or failure, or if I quite litterly cant afford to quit my job. I have no idea...I just hope im not asking that same question for the next 32 years of my life.
I believe I have a lot of "internal" self esteem. The small percentage of self esteem that I do not have is the persentage that I need to promote myself. I know it! I admit it! is my work worthy enough to be out there in the universe for people to see and purchase?? Absolutly!!! Do I have the balls to promote that work??? yeah umm no, unfortunatly I dont. Im not sure where to go to find those balls. I am 110% positive that if I had that one little skill (aka Balls)...(not litterly, you know what I mean), I would be Successful!! I know it for a fact!!!! and so does every single person in my life who EVERY DAY says to me. What the hell are you doing?? why are you not in business? I will buy that from you!! can you do work for me? OMG I have a friend who is looking for someone like you!!
Its not about the money ( although that would be helpfull )..its about doing somthing I love. In the evening when I sit down to relax I want to feel that I have accomplished somthing productive for the day.
Dear Rachel:
Shit or get off the pot!!
Dare I say that your writing is good enough to put me in your head. Wow, there's a lot going on in here! Maybe if you keep writing,the AHA moment will suddenly appear. LOVE
ReplyDeleteI ike your bog and think you shoud continue with it. I spiled wine on my aptop and the "L" key is stuck, so I am sorry for how this post must ook. Keep it up irl.....ove you.
ReplyDeleteXOXO,
Meissa
Our comfort zones keep us prisoners unless we smash the walls.
ReplyDeleteRachel-----Yes I am typing this. The trick is to take small steps to achieve whatever you want the end result to be ; and also to remember never to crap in your backyard! Love Dad
ReplyDeleteStory of my life, soon to be 36, and still learning about this thing called follow through. Ideas and artistic thoughts I am engulfed in, but doing something about them, not so much. Is it our own self doubt that puts out the flame and leaves us in a cubicle feeling like we're wasting out lives away, I don't know. But I think the "take tiny steps" idea may be the way to go. You should reconnect with Miss Violetta and but your 2 brains together into a successful venture. I have faith!!!
ReplyDeletexoxo,
Maciej
I completely understand your struggles chica! I go through those internal questions of what else could I be doing with my life, but you have something I don't have which is an amazing talent and you know exactly what you love to do. You need to find that internal motivation and if you can't get it now, maybe you need someone who will push you at first to get you in the right direction. If you ever need me to yell at you into finishing things, I'm more than happy to yell at you all day :-) You start your business and I'll be your sales person chica! love ya!
ReplyDeleteRach - You have an immense amount of talent. I'm not sure where the fear of promotion comes from if you know that the world would appreciate your work, though. You would absolutely be successful because if someone asks you to do a job for them, you take pride in your work and CARE about the result. That's not something that a lot of big businesses have. I think people see that when they hire me too. Get off your ass, and get yourself out there! The world NEEDS you!
ReplyDelete